Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
