She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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