so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
