Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
