I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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