dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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