how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
ok first of all what the fuck
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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