i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Randomize
