I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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