You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
