I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize