Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm at about main and main street
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
