Its about making memories worth repressing
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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