there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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