Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize