i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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