he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
