Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
