I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
