if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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