can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
