i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
