some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
vagina is talking i cant
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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