She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
