My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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