He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
