we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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