i don't like sucking hair
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This is my gift to your gina
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
