Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
