Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
