apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
