watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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