butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
