you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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