Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
