never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
