I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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