just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
