Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
