We should be called the Road Head Warriors
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
