there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
