I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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