she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
