Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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