I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize