You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize