JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Welp...herpes.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
