she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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