hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
