Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
