Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize