Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
