we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
