what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So much rum. So many feels.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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