maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
