So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
