and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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