yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
