Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
