dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
