he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
