he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
