I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
