you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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