The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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