I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
