I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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