I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize