He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
