We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
