We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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