it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
